Sexual challenges and temptations during dating and courtship

Navigating the physical side of a romantic relationship while staying true to your values can be challenging.

Many couples face temptations related to sexuality during dating and courtship, especially in a culture that often normalizes premarital sex.

Maintaining sexual purity requires setting clear boundaries and understanding the emotional and spiritual impact of giving in to temptation.

Let’s begin by looking at the various challenges couples face.

Common Challenges Couples Face

Sexual temptations can appear in different forms during a relationship. Here are some of the most common challenges couples face:

  1. Physical Attraction: It’s natural to be physically attracted to your partner, but without boundaries, this can lead to compromising situations.
  2. Peer Pressure: Friends or society may pressure you to move faster physically than you’re comfortable with.
  3. Alone Time: Spending too much time alone in private spaces can increase temptation.
  4. Cultural Norms: Cultural influences may make it seem acceptable to give in to physical desires before marriage.
  5. Emotional Intimacy: Growing emotionally close can sometimes lead to a desire for physical closeness that’s hard to resist.

Understanding these challenges helps couples prepare for the situations they’ll likely encounter and empowers them to take helpful steps.

Here are some steps couples can take to honor each other and their faith throughout their relationship when it comes to their sexuality..

1. Setting Boundaries Early

One of the most important steps in maintaining sexual purity is setting clear boundaries early in the relationship.

Without clear guidelines, it’s easy for emotions and physical attraction to take over. By agreeing on boundaries together, couples can avoid putting themselves in situations that lead to temptation.

Tips for Setting Boundaries:

  • Discuss Expectations: Have an open conversation with your partner about physical boundaries and the importance of maintaining purity.
  • Be Specific: Clearly define what behaviors you’re comfortable with and which ones you want to avoid.
  • Stick to Your Commitments: Hold each other accountable to the boundaries you’ve set, and avoid making compromises in the moment.

2. Understanding the Biblical Perspective on Sexuality

From a Biblical perspective, sexuality is a gift meant to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage.

When couples honour God’s design for sex, they protect themselves from emotional and spiritual consequences that come from giving in to temptation.

The Bible teaches that sexual purity is important for both our relationship with God and our relationship with others.

By embracing this view, couples can approach dating and courtship with a focus on building emotional and spiritual intimacy first, rather than letting physical desires drive the relationship.

3. Recognizing the Emotional and Spiritual Impact of Temptation

Giving in to sexual temptation can have lasting effects on both partners.

Emotionally, it can lead to feelings of guilt, regret, or shame.

Spiritually, it can create a sense of distance from God and weaken the foundation of the relationship.

Understanding the potential consequences helps couples stay motivated to avoid temptation and focus on their long-term goals.

4. Set Practical Measures to Avoid Compromising Situations

Temptation often arises in situations where couples are alone, especially in private spaces.

It’s essential to be proactive about avoiding these situations to protect your relationship and maintain purity.

Here are some practical steps:

  • Choose Public Settings: Plan dates in public places, like parks, restaurants, or group gatherings, to avoid isolation and temptation.
  • Set Curfews: Agree on a time to end dates to avoid late-night situations that could lead to temptation.
  • Limit Physical Affection: Keep physical affection within the boundaries you’ve discussed, and avoid letting it escalate to a point where you feel out of control.

5. Seeking Accountability and Support

Accountability is key to staying on track.

Sharing your goals with trusted friends, mentors, or a church group can provide extra support when temptation becomes difficult to manage.

Having someone to check in with and encourage you can make all the difference in helping you stay true to your values.

Ways to Seek Accountability:

  • Find a Mentor: Choose someone you trust to help guide you and hold you accountable.
  • Join a Support Group: Look for a small group at church or in your community where you can connect with others who share similar values.
  • Check In Regularly: Make time to talk with your accountability partner or group about how you’re doing and what challenges you’re facing.

6. Building a Strong Spiritual and Emotional Foundation

The goal of dating and courtship is to build a strong foundation for marriage.

Focusing on spiritual and emotional growth, rather than physical attraction alone, allows couples to develop a deep and meaningful connection.

Spending time praying together, reading scripture, and discussing shared values creates a bond that will last beyond the dating phase.

When couples prioritise their spiritual and emotional connection, they are better equipped to handle temptations and challenges with grace, wisdom, and self-control.

Growing Together in Purity

Navigating the challenges of maintaining purity in a relationship isn’t easy, but it’s possible with intentionality, boundaries, and accountability.

By focusing on honouring God and each other, couples can grow together and build a relationship that’s rooted in trust and mutual respect.

Interested in more insights on handling dating challenges and staying true to your values? Visit other youth and courtship pages on HFA.

The information here is designed to help you understand the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships. You’ll have the chance to explore biblical insights on the topic.

Watch this video for insight on the subject

Disclaimer: Hope for Africa is not affiliated with the following video. It is simply being provided as a helpful resource for building good relationships.

Sex in Relationships (PRT.1) by Hope Channel Kenya

Sex in Relationship (PRT.2) by Hope Channel Kenya

Bible verses about premarital sex and dating

Compiled by the Hope For Africa staff on September 20, 2024

Bible verses related to “Sexual challenges and temptations during dating and courtship” from the New King James Version (NKJV) by Relevance

  • 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
    “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”
    Explanation: Make it a goal to protect each other, preserve yourselves for the Lord, and avoid sexual contact before getting married.
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
    “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.”
    Explanation: Consecration to God and abstaining from fulfilling the lustful passions of our bodies requires self-control and a change of heart through the Holy Spirit.
  • James 1:14-15
    “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.”
    Explanation: We are to avoid putting ourselves in situations or being in places that make it easy to fall into sexual temptation.
  • Galatians 5:16
    “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.”
    Explanation: Living a surrendered and Spirit-filled life can be a buffer against sexual sin. God’s Holy Spirit can make us hate sinful practices.
  • Proverbs 4:23
    “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
    Explanation: Be careful of what you read, watch and listen to because these can corrupt our hearts and influence us into sinful practices.
  • Hebrews 13:4
    “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
    Explanation: Choosing to keep yourself pure until marriage is honourable to God.
  • 1 Corinthians 10:13
    “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
    Explanation: God can help us overcome every temptation, including sexual desires before marriage, if we are surrendered to Christ.
  • 2 Timothy 2:22
    “Flee also youthful lusts; but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
    Explanation: Choosing a godly youthful company can help us avoid prevelent sinful practices in our societies.
  • Colossians 3:5
    “Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
    Explanation: Anything that takes the place of God in our hearts, including sex, becomes an idol. We can overcome vile affections only through the power of God.
  • Hebrews 4:15-16
    “For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”
    Explanation: Jesus is willing and ready to help us overcome every temptation if we approach Him with faith and confidence.
  • Matthew 5:28
    “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
    Explanation: Sin is first committed in the mind before it is physically carried out.
  • Proverbs 6:27-29
    “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? So he that goeth into his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.”
    Explanation: There is a consequence for every choice made. God’s grace alone can keep us from meddling with sin.

Search the StepBible.org for more references about sexual immorality.

Topics and verses are generated from multiple resources and are reviewed by our team. If a verse or topic does not belong or is missing, please contact us. Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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